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TALKINGTODEADGUYS is the beginner's toolbox to the link personal growth and spiritual evolution. Pushing you to challenge yourself and teaching that spirituality isn't to be feared, but carefully understood – We believe that we can help you find your own path to uncovering the secrets behind each.
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This is part two of how control issues can manifest as annoying spiritual patterns. 

 PRECOGNITION / INVOLUNTARILY SEEING THE FUTURE

 One of the most common perpetrators is overthinking. Not everyone will innately have a spiritual issue for just overthinking. You contractually decide to have it happen. Those of you that have spiritual episodes of Precognition or “Seeing The Future” at random may be related to overthinking for some of you. I went through this phase of seeing the future because I’d end up worrying that it’d happen. I’d see “snippets” and I blame my overthinking for that. Overthinking in and of itself isn’t a bad thing but what we suggest is to channel it into areas that require practicality. We recommend that you do not go through life trying to second guess every little thing you do. Second guessing means that you think that unless you don’t put yourself under scrutiny you’re going to have the rug ripped out from under you.  I’ve been there. For those of us that are in awareness of our spiritual gifts or habits that second guessing is going to trip some of us up. If you imagine a counter scenario for every decision you make or the majority of the time that may manifest as involuntary precognition. It won’t for every single person but if you know that you have precognition but you ALSO overthink, the root of it is that pattern of overthinking. I’m going to show you how I’ve stopped this from happening to me :  Number one thing you need to remember regardless of if you have precognitive abilities or not is that you can always choose whether or not it rules your life. Just because you get a vision of Cambodia going up in flames when you’re in London drinking Starbucks does not mean that you have to spend the rest of the day worrying about saving the world. The visions you get may inspire you to take action if you’re a humanitarian and that can be a great thing. However, you also have to remember that it is not your RESPONSIBILITY to take on every single person’s shit. That sentence is literally the key to white knight spiritual abilities: empathy, precognition, healing, etc. If you want to have a life where you focus on these things you still also have to learn that. On this blog, Kurt and Christina each have empathic abilities but they’ve learned that they can’t try to “save” everyone.  When you can apply this attitude in your daily life what you can do if you get an involuntary dose of someone’s reality is to decide if you want to act on it. You don’t have to deal with someone else’s problems just because they exist and it does NOT make you less compassionate. You do not have to be Jesus dying on a cross to be a compassionate human being. This is a myth that’s ingrained in a lot of people’s heads. You can just ACCEPT that that’s someone’s reality somewhere and you hope for the best for them and you move on with the rest of your life. Even if its painful there’s usually not a lot anyone can do. It doesn’t mean you don’t CARE. It just means that you are a fucking human being. 

 EMPATHY / INVOLUNTARILY ABSORBING THE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS

 This is so important for those that struggle with overly zealous empathic abilities. We’ve been noticing a trend in many empaths have an issue with setting boundaries. The idea of setting a boundary just means that you pick and choose whom you want to affect you. You can imagine a bubble around you 24/7, you can cast a spell, say a chant, or whatever you feel you need to do. However what these practices help bring on is the attitude that you’re in charge of your reality. It’s a psychological root in self power and self control. If you can’t go through life without having a traumatic episode from someone else we ask that you try to take that into perspective. Why are you letting it rule your life? Most often people respond with, “I don’t have a choice.”  We’re psychological debunkers here on this blog and we’re going to help you figure this one out. Why don’t you think you have a choice?  “If I did I would have stopped it by now.”  Why won’t you stop it now?  “I don’t think I can. It just happens and I don’t choose when.”  It’s not so much WHEN, it’s more about what you decide to DO when it happens if at all. Similar to the conversation we just had about precognitive abilities, as an empath, you don’t have to take on everyone else’s shit. You genuinely do not. All you have to do is decide that you’re an impenetrable wall and you can tell people “No” if they want something from you in reality. When your empathy’s not going berserk think about the sort of life you live on a day-to-day basis. Do you usually let people walk all over you or abuse your resources? Do you feel as if you just want to be nice to people because you want them to like you? Do you think you have a responsibility to take on the world or else it’ll fall to pieces? This isn’t so much traditional “empathy” as it is a control problem. What we’ve noticed is that many empaths out there do not know that they display controlling and manipulative behavior.  Being an empath does not mean you have a responsibility to be everyone’s guardian and savior. You’re a human being and you have passions, interests, and people you love. However this does not innately mean that you have to become superman. If you genuinely feel as if serving others fulfills you and helping them with their pain we recommend that you enter the medical field, become a holistic practitioner, a therapist, a guidance counselor, or someone who’s in the field of caring for and nurturing others. OUR tip is that you learn to sublimate this need into a field that’s structured and controlled so you can moderate your behavior opposed to letting it run amuck when you’re just trying to control the outcomes of other people. 

 EMPA”ME”

 There’s that word, “control” again. We should also distinguish something here – If you do not feel fulfilled by entering a field that heals others on a regular day basis, then your empathic ability is most likely a manifestation of a control problem that has nothing to do with sensitivity. There is a difference between being sensitive to the needs of others and feeling obligated to help them because you want to control their emotions for their “benefit” versus you involuntarily feeling feedback from others because you want them to like you. Sometimes they over lap a bit but we’re going to focus on the latter. If you want others to like you and preferring that gratification over helping them (be honest here, it’s okay), means that you’re a PEOPLE person and you can sublimate this habit by going into a communicative field that works with the public in a controlled environment. PR, television, entertainment, broadcasting, or anything even slightly related to being in front of people will give you a good start. There is nothing wrong with wanting people to like you, however, it only becomes a problem when you try to force random strangers to by pretending to be nice. This is another control thing. We’ve seen through people that talk to us on our blog that some people just genuinely want everyone to like them and they mistake that desire for being bleedingly compassionate with empathic abilities. It doesn’t make you super coldhearted and incapable of love or affection. It just means that you’re more comfortable with giving it in smaller doses from a distance like casual advice or teaching or guidance.  In our soul group, (a group of people that have shared the most lives together like a rag team), we have different sections of people that are compassionate in different ways. We only know about 5 of us so far. Two of us (Jeff and Kristen) practice compassion from a distance and demonstrate it through art or volunteer work. Kurt and Christy heal others as a team, Raechel/Erik teaches and gives advice and I foster children. We have varying degrees of how much we allow ourselves to give to other people. When you realize that the empathic abilities you have are a detriment to you and you don’t want to be that intimately invested in someone else’s shit, you have to wonder if it’s just because you have no boundaries when you want people to like you.

This is part two of how control issues can manifest as annoying spiritual patterns.

PRECOGNITION / INVOLUNTARILY SEEING THE FUTURE


One of the most common perpetrators is overthinking. Not everyone will innately have a spiritual issue for just overthinking. You contractually decide to have it happen. Those of you that have spiritual episodes of Precognition or “Seeing The Future” at random may be related to overthinking for some of you. I went through this phase of seeing the future because I’d end up worrying that it’d happen. I’d see “snippets” and I blame my overthinking for that. Overthinking in and of itself isn’t a bad thing but what we suggest is to channel it into areas that require practicality. We recommend that you do not go through life trying to second guess every little thing you do. Second guessing means that you think that unless you don’t put yourself under scrutiny you’re going to have the rug ripped out from under you.

I’ve been there. For those of us that are in awareness of our spiritual gifts or habits that second guessing is going to trip some of us up. If you imagine a counter scenario for every decision you make or the majority of the time that may manifest as involuntary precognition. It won’t for every single person but if you know that you have precognition but you ALSO overthink, the root of it is that pattern of overthinking. I’m going to show you how I’ve stopped this from happening to me :

Number one thing you need to remember regardless of if you have precognitive abilities or not is that you can always choose whether or not it rules your life. Just because you get a vision of Cambodia going up in flames when you’re in London drinking Starbucks does not mean that you have to spend the rest of the day worrying about saving the world. The visions you get may inspire you to take action if you’re a humanitarian and that can be a great thing. However, you also have to remember that it is not your RESPONSIBILITY to take on every single person’s shit. That sentence is literally the key to white knight spiritual abilities: empathy, precognition, healing, etc. If you want to have a life where you focus on these things you still also have to learn that. On this blog, Kurt and Christina each have empathic abilities but they’ve learned that they can’t try to “save” everyone.

When you can apply this attitude in your daily life what you can do if you get an involuntary dose of someone’s reality is to decide if you want to act on it. You don’t have to deal with someone else’s problems just because they exist and it does NOT make you less compassionate. You do not have to be Jesus dying on a cross to be a compassionate human being. This is a myth that’s ingrained in a lot of people’s heads. You can just ACCEPT that that’s someone’s reality somewhere and you hope for the best for them and you move on with the rest of your life. Even if its painful there’s usually not a lot anyone can do. It doesn’t mean you don’t CARE. It just means that you are a fucking human being.

EMPATHY / INVOLUNTARILY ABSORBING THE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS


This is so important for those that struggle with overly zealous empathic abilities. We’ve been noticing a trend in many empaths have an issue with setting boundaries. The idea of setting a boundary just means that you pick and choose whom you want to affect you. You can imagine a bubble around you 24/7, you can cast a spell, say a chant, or whatever you feel you need to do. However what these practices help bring on is the attitude that you’re in charge of your reality. It’s a psychological root in self power and self control. If you can’t go through life without having a traumatic episode from someone else we ask that you try to take that into perspective. Why are you letting it rule your life? Most often people respond with, “I don’t have a choice.”

We’re psychological debunkers here on this blog and we’re going to help you figure this one out. Why don’t you think you have a choice?

“If I did I would have stopped it by now.”

Why won’t you stop it now?

“I don’t think I can. It just happens and I don’t choose when.”

It’s not so much WHEN, it’s more about what you decide to DO when it happens if at all. Similar to the conversation we just had about precognitive abilities, as an empath, you don’t have to take on everyone else’s shit. You genuinely do not. All you have to do is decide that you’re an impenetrable wall and you can tell people “No” if they want something from you in reality. When your empathy’s not going berserk think about the sort of life you live on a day-to-day basis. Do you usually let people walk all over you or abuse your resources? Do you feel as if you just want to be nice to people because you want them to like you? Do you think you have a responsibility to take on the world or else it’ll fall to pieces? This isn’t so much traditional “empathy” as it is a control problem. What we’ve noticed is that many empaths out there do not know that they display controlling and manipulative behavior.

Being an empath does not mean you have a responsibility to be everyone’s guardian and savior. You’re a human being and you have passions, interests, and people you love. However this does not innately mean that you have to become superman. If you genuinely feel as if serving others fulfills you and helping them with their pain we recommend that you enter the medical field, become a holistic practitioner, a therapist, a guidance counselor, or someone who’s in the field of caring for and nurturing others. OUR tip is that you learn to sublimate this need into a field that’s structured and controlled so you can moderate your behavior opposed to letting it run amuck when you’re just trying to control the outcomes of other people.

EMPA”ME”


There’s that word, “control” again. We should also distinguish something here – If you do not feel fulfilled by entering a field that heals others on a regular day basis, then your empathic ability is most likely a manifestation of a control problem that has nothing to do with sensitivity. There is a difference between being sensitive to the needs of others and feeling obligated to help them because you want to control their emotions for their “benefit” versus you involuntarily feeling feedback from others because you want them to like you. Sometimes they over lap a bit but we’re going to focus on the latter. If you want others to like you and preferring that gratification over helping them (be honest here, it’s okay), means that you’re a PEOPLE person and you can sublimate this habit by going into a communicative field that works with the public in a controlled environment. PR, television, entertainment, broadcasting, or anything even slightly related to being in front of people will give you a good start.

There is nothing wrong with wanting people to like you, however, it only becomes a problem when you try to force random strangers to by pretending to be nice. This is another control thing. We’ve seen through people that talk to us on our blog that some people just genuinely want everyone to like them and they mistake that desire for being bleedingly compassionate with empathic abilities. It doesn’t make you super coldhearted and incapable of love or affection. It just means that you’re more comfortable with giving it in smaller doses from a distance like casual advice or teaching or guidance.

In our soul group, (a group of people that have shared the most lives together like a rag team), we have different sections of people that are compassionate in different ways. We only know about 5 of us so far. Two of us (Jeff and Kristen) practice compassion from a distance and demonstrate it through art or volunteer work. Kurt and Christy heal others as a team, Raechel/Erik teaches and gives advice and I foster children. We have varying degrees of how much we allow ourselves to give to other people. When you realize that the empathic abilities you have are a detriment to you and you don’t want to be that intimately invested in someone else’s shit, you have to wonder if it’s just because you have no boundaries when you want people to like you.


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